After many years of fruitless searching, institutional racism has finally revealed itself – inside a group home in Western Ohio. The culprit, a Mr. Giles Murphey, showed his inner rot while participating in the daily “Creative Hour” at the Happy Oaks Home for the Feeble Minded. Murphey, 66, requested “colored paper” for his project.
Mrs. Edna Locum, assistant supervisor at the institution, gives her account of the incident:
He should have asked for “construction paper” or at least “paper of color”. We had no idea this evil was among us. Please forgive us… we didn’t know… (incoherent weeping).
News of Murphey’s racist remark spread quickly within the small town of Grassy Meadows. Less than twenty minutes had elapsed when authorities arrived and dragged him away in chains. Had he remained only a few moments more than that, other residents and staff might easily have lynched him.
Mr. Murphey is now in Federal custody and it is believed he has been subject to water boarding, sleep deprivation, electrical shocks, extreme cold and psychological techniques in order to ascertain whether he had made other insensitive remarks in the past.
President Obama has taken credit for discovering the elusive institutional racism.
Based on what we already know, this despicable man will surely spend the rest of his miserable life at hard labor in Guantanamo. If we discover that he has used other unacceptable words – even while alone in the bathroom, taking a shower or in his room at night – then he will be subject to unspeakable tortures. Indeed, I have formed a new Federal agency, “The Federal Institute of Unspeakable Torture” just for this purpose.
The American People, having elected their first African American president, deserve a future without institutional racism. Now that we have located it, and plucked it from our midst, we can move forward and finally enjoy a new era of Hope and Change.
Giles Murphey in happier times