An uplifting tale from my high school days

While reading a news story about a substitute teacher’s bizarre behavior, I was reminded of my own high school experience, also involving a substitute teacher. As odd as Mr. Deutsch’s behavior, described in the above article, may have been, I like to think that my own story tops it.
It was my freshman year at Morningside High School in Inglewood, California. This school was 90% black, and a rough place to try to get an education. Staying alive was a more pressing priority. I’ve written about some of my experiences there previously.
I can’t remember which class it was, but it certainly had nothing to do with magic or paranormal phenomena. Nevertheless, our class (in which I was the only non-black) found itself with a rather peculiar substitute teacher one day. It was a young, white, new-age type woman. Maybe this woman had forgotten what our class was supposed to be about, or maybe she considered her own priorities more important.
At some point, she placed an object on a table and told us to be silent. She then instructed all of us to concentrate on the object – and, with the power of our minds, levitate it. That’s right. Our substitute teacher thought she could harness the mental power of 30 gangbangers, with their bitches and hos (and yours truly, of course), to raise an object into the air.
As I recall, I didn’t even try. The embarrassment I felt for her was almost painful – and even though I’ve always been an oddball myself, this was too much even for me.
In case you were wondering, the object remained motionless on the table.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to An uplifting tale from my high school days

  1. Amazing! What makes it amazing isn’t the substitute teacher’s belief in telekinesis, but in her belief that a classroom full of low-IQ students (with one exception) would have the ‘mind power’ to blow their own noses, much less move an inanimate object not attached to them. Maybe she was of the opinion as to how the Black folks built the pyramids of Egypt…with telekinesis! (Very ‘fashionable’ belief back in the 1970s as to how the mysterious pyramids were built.) What was the object, if I may ask? Just for the lols. If you say it was a pyramid knick-knack, I won’t believe you.

  2. peppermint says:

    amazing. Gangsters and hoes, and the White woman is such a moron that she thinks she can make an object levitate by looking at it funny.
    This is actually the kind of thing that Blacks believe that Whites are all about, because they don’t really think long-term studies and ideology are worth much and have much more respect for shows of immediate power, like levitating an object. If you hadn’t told me you were the one White in the room, I’d assume it was an apocryphal story about dumb White teachers told by Blacks.

  3. CS says:

    How crazy your teacher was depends on what she was trying to teach. If it was the scientific method, it wasn’t a bad shot. She had a hypothesis, a bit bizarre but widely held, and she set up an empirical trial, allowing application of Popper’s principle of falsifiability.
    There’s some weakness in the experimental design, I suppose, since we don’t know how many, like JAY, just weren’t trying, or whether some were even trying to hold the thing down to make the teacher look stupid! Also, maybe the thing was just too massive. Now if she’d used a feather …

  4. I once had a public school teacher who told the class that blacks were “more evolved” than whites. The rationale behind this went that, because their skin did not sunburn, they must be a superior race.

    • Zimriel says:

      They *are* a superior race if your constraints include: sun all year ’round, available food all year ’round, and the occasional risk of total village wipeout (from plagues, storms, or rival tribes).
      If your constraints involve instead seasonal – but predictable! – ice-ages, then future time orientation makes more sense.
      Remember that evolution is situational.

  5. Lazlo says:

    Could this have been an attempt to distract the class of gangbangers, et, al., from behaving disruptively by focusing on this odd project? (i.e. rather than a failed attempt at levitation, was this instead a bizarre but successful attempt at distracting the gullible with a shiny object, and thus preventing a chaotic classroom situation?)
    Or, maybe I should first ask, did it manage to distract your fellow classmates, or did it just cause a wave of derision against this odd substitute teacher?
    Would waving a banana or squishy toy at them have had a better effect?

    • jewamongyou says:

      If it calmed them down, it was only for a few moments. As for a wave of derision, from the beginning they had no respect for her – on account of her being white, but this certainly didn’t help.

  6. Afterthought says:

    Thanks for that post. I remember a substitute for a Jewish teacher trying to talk about “goals” and a beaner chiming in “I ain’t got no goals, muthafucka” That was an eyeopener’s for sure.

    • BX says:

      “I ain’t got no goals, muthafucka”, genius at work there! What great, superior mind could possibly come up with such a witty response.

  7. SFG says:

    There was actually a TV movie about this, a substitute teacher who had the class summon angels from Venus (this being a movie, they of course actually showed up…)
    Anyone remember which one I’m talking about?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *