Abubakar Shekau invites American beta males to join Boko Haram

Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau, upon hearing of the recent killings in California, shook his head and stated:

What a waste! If Mr. Rodger had come to Nigeria, he would have made an excellent Islamic soldier – and he would have no problem finding a wife; he would simply kidnap one!

Recent conflicts with government forces, and vigilante groups, have left Boko Haram short on soldiers. Shekau had already contemplated tapping into the vast pool of frustrated white and Asian males in America. In a recent video, he had mentioned that it would be a win-win situation. Boko Haram would gain much-needed extra troops, and frustrated American men would have access to Nigerian women.
In an appeal to America’s lonely, desperate, men, Shekau pointed out that:

Islam is today’s dominant religion. If you attach yourself to Islam, and swear allegiance to Allah and his prophet Muhammad, you will no longer have to sit at the feet of more fortunate males, waiting for some crumbs to fall your way. The power of Allah, and his word, the Holy Qur’an, will infuse you with the authority and strength that women respect. And if they fail to respect you of their own free will, it is not a problem; you will take what you want.
Regardless of your color, we in Nigeria will welcome you with open arms. We shall show you the path to true manhood. If you fight for us, we shall fight for you!

There is no denying that this offer resonates with many American men – and U.S. intelligence officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, have voiced concern that Shekau’s appeal may strike fertile ground. Some fear that Boko Haram may even develop an American chapter.
Abubakar Shekau

Abubakar enticing lonely American men with sweet promises

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22 Responses to Abubakar Shekau invites American beta males to join Boko Haram

  1. oogenhand says:

    Well errr, and I got called a nutjob for playing the same game, but promising Muslim women?

  2. countenance says:

    Kidnapping and hijacking doesn’t seem to be the favorite beta male pastime.

  3. Janon says:

    How well do low-status males fare finding mates in polygynous Muslim societies like Saudi Arabia? Female sexuality is controlled, but mating opportunities wouldn’t seem to be distributed very evenly among the population.

  4. SFG says:

    This is fucking genius.

  5. Janon says:

    Ah, I missed the “posted under parody/satire” part. This really was very clever.

  6. zimriel says:

    I admit, I got trolled. I thought Shekau had actually posted this.
    But yeah, I don’t think Shekau wants white guys – who would certainly prove more disciplined fighters than his crew – to push him out of his game. I predict that’s going to happen anyway sooner than later (expanding “white” here to include Berbers, Chechens and Arabs).

  7. oogenhand says:

    Another solution:
    “Many of them are castrated, so no hear appears and their voices remain smooth. There are even markets to sell these kids in Saudi Arabia and Qatar.”

  8. Numbers Guy says:

    1) I would have to believe he has black American males in mind as recruits, or maybe American born Moslems. Granted, the slayings were not done by black Americans, and I know he wants to convert the kafir, but I couldn’t see a Nigerian wanting whites or Asians.
    2) I think “take what you want” is the operative idea.
    3) I would not be surprised if there were a chapter here already. Or even several.

  9. Joxua Luxor says:

    I am curious how much of that translation is accurate, I know it is Satire but how much truth is in it?

  10. Robert Marchenoir says:

    It’s obvious this is the dirty little secret of Islam’s appeal : even the most downtrodden, poor, ugly, stupid and vile man can be the top dog at least once in his life — by lording it over women.
    However, the other secret that Mr. Abubakar’s friends never tell their recruits, and which runs counter to the first, is that by allowing four wives, Islam guarantees a shortage of women for the downtrodden, poor, ugly and stupid, ensuring never ending frustration, anger and violence.
    Which could be as well be the very definition of Islam.
    Nice warped ideology, devised by psychopaths making sure that their followers will be forever as unhinged as themselves.

  11. Robert Marchenoir says:

    Satire ? What satire ?
    Islamic State fighters routinely rape girls as young as nine held hostage at the terror group’s training camps, it has been claimed.
    A purported former IS member turned whistleblower says all the group’s fighters are told it is their God-given right to rape non-Muslim prisoners.
    He claimed that those preparing to sacrifice themselves on suicide missions are particularly encouraged to subject prisoners to depraved sexual ordeals, and that many of those would-be martyrs are British.

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