It’s Going to be a Good Year

Fear not, dear readers. Don’t let politics get you down; the Communists can steal the election, they can use all sorts of tricks to try to silence us, and they can dominate the mass media – but they can’t force us to be unhappy. For the most part, if we’re miserable in our daily lives, it’s our own responsibility to rectify the situation.

If you can afford it, take a vacation somewhere. Don’t get sick like I did, but enjoy good food, take in the sights, listen to some good music, ogle the girls. Whatever makes you happy. Being happy in our lives should be a top priority, because depression is a major killer of white people. It kills us through drugs, disease and suicide. In these eventful times, the lives of every one of you is even more valuable, so make the best of it. Meditate if you know how, take a few shots of booze if you’re not an alcoholic, spend time with friends and talk about positive things. If you’re young and marketable, look for a mate…

… which reminds me. While going through some old Hebrew books, I found a long-lost קמיע. That’s pronounced Qameya’. It looks like this:

A Qameya is a good luck amulet. I’ll translate this one as best as I can:

Children of my people, do this in the name of Azriel, Hasdiel, Qasriel, Ahaviel, Lahaviel, ‘Ashaqiel…

Even before reading any farther, I knew that it’s a love charm – because these angels’ names, after the first four, which seem to be generic, mean “Love of God,” “Flame of God,” and “Romance of God.” The last of these is interesting, because it seems to be based on an Arabic word, rather than a Hebrew one. ‘Ashaq is the Arabic word for “lover (عاشق)” That, and the writing style, lead me to believe that this charm is from Morocco. Moroccans, including Moroccan Jews, were very superstitious.

It goes on:

To Hananiel and Rahmiel, for Sarah the daughter of Leah, in the name of Hannanah and Hisdai, give her (?) in the eyes of all creations, in the name of Bezugiel (magic characters)…

Aniel, Farael, for her names (?) that there be favor and kindness for Sarah the daughter of Leah, in the eyes of all creatures, and quickly bring her a husband and good luck so that she becomes engaged quickly. Amen, let it be (God’s) will.

If you print this out, and become engaged shortly thereafter, you must invite me to the wedding. Make sure there’s cake.

Here’s a link, if you want to learn more about amulets in Jewish tradition.