In a long-overdue decision, the European Union president Charles Michel has announced that member states must destroy most stained-glass windows, depicting people, within cathedrals and churches.
The reason for this edict should be obvious: They lack diversity. The ruling doesn’t apply if the windows are inclusive (defined as depicting 100% people of color or LGBTQ).
To much fanfare, Michel explained:
We cannot move forward unless we confront our racist past. Science has proven, with Cheddar Man, that Europe’s native people were people of color. They were MIGRANTS! Whites came later and slaughtered the native, peaceful, inhabitants, just like in America.
Unfortunately, we cannot bring Cheddar Man’s people back, but it behooves us to correct what we can – and medieval stained-glass windows, depicting white people, have no place in the New Europe.
To illustrate his point, Michel displayed a hideous example of the white-supremacy he was referring to:
Naturally, some extremists on the far-right have objected to this decision. Some have even suggested that instead of destroying the windows, they should modify them. With modern technology, it should be possible to alter the appearance of the people so that they appear African American. It has even been suggested that the face of St. Martin Luther King be used as a model – or St. George Floyd.
More rational people have rejected this nonsense on the grounds that even if we were to fix the windows, they still carry the legacy of racism. This is not acceptable.
Pope Francis has applauded the European Union for this decision. He has even gone the extra mile, showing his piety by offering to purge the Vatican Museum of all depictions of white people.
I applaud this decision. In the name of the Lord, and His son Jesus Christ, we have a spiritual duty to rid ourselves of whiteness. I am ordering all depictions of whiteness to be removed from the Vatican Museum. It is unacceptable that its millions of visitors be forced to endure such hate.
Europe has had a whiteness problem for far too long. It is time to put an end to it. A “Final Solution” if you will. Greek and Roman statues, medieval tapestries, classical paintings and, of course, the stained-glass windows will all be purged.
Praise the Lord!
Indeed, we haven’t had such a righteous pope since St. Peter. This is the true meaning of Christianity, to cleanse ourselves of hate. Hate has no place in the Vatican or in any church.
Asked if the European Union would take steps to remove crosses as well, since many migrants find them offensive, Michel replied:
The battle for tolerance cannot be fought in one day. I fully appreciate the trauma and hurt that our migrant sisters must feel when they are forced to confront this symbol of bigotry and intolerance. Those women and children have suffered enough, braving human traffickers, dangerous seas and cold to reach our shores… and then… to be confronted with this symbol of colonialism and hate… it’s just too much.
There will come a day, soon, when we’ll address this problem. Mark my words.